I like to find beauty in everything. Early mornings. Winter. Candle light. Soy hot chocolate. My kitten. Love. Sparklers and fairy lights. Afternoon naps with my fiance.
Today I find it hard to believe we are 16 weeks. Already?!
The last few Christmas holidays I’ve wished we had a baby, wished we were at least trying for one, hoped it would be our time soon. It’s so crazy that this Christmas I’m pregnant and next pregnant we will have a baby. A six month old baby.
How did we get so lucky?
Today was our first scan. Given the reason for the early scan we were both feeling pretty hesitant but…… EVERYTHING LOOKED PERFECT!!
The radiologist said everything was exactly as it should be. We got to see the babies little heart beat too! It was the most incredible thing to see. I love this little baby so much already. I walked out grinning like a crazy lady. I am so happy and so relieved.
The last few days I have had a minimal amount of bleeding.
Today it got more frequent and accompanied by dull cramps.
We rushed off to the Doctor who said I needed a scan first thing tomorrow. She didn’t give a single reason it would be happening other than eptopic or miscarriage. I wanted to punch her. Google tells me there are other reasons so my fingers are crossed.
Morning sickness has started!…. Ohmygosh, I literally can’t leave the house without iced water and oranges!
I feel quite relieved as it means so far everything in our pregnancy is going well. I’m exhausted though, most afternoons I crash from about 3pm!
We have found a midwife who has been really happyto listen to my concerns and fears. She kindly booked us for a 8 week scan and has sent me for bloods this week to put my mind at ease.
There are so many things to organize and so much to think about. I thought I’d feel overwhelmed but I don’t. I guess I have been wanting this a long time and dreamed about it since I met my husband. I’m sure at some point we’ll have a freak out but not just yet :)
Woohooo we are officially 5 weeks and enetering the 6th week today!!!
Still very early days. We haven’t told anyone yet. Two of our best friends told us that they were 3 months on the DAY we found out we were pregnant (4 weeks). How crazy is that? We have a skype date with them this morning and can’t wait to share the news!
We know it’s still very early to tell people but we figured if anything was to happen we would want them to understand if we were a bit…..well, I don’t know. Perhaps rather emotional and reacting oddly?
Anyway, I feel pretty good.
-I’ve been a bit nauseaus (which I LOVED because it was right after I panicked about no symptoms!).
-My boobs are still sore and growing at an alarming rate!
-I have been sleeping really badly ever since conception I tell you! I wake up in the night and don’t go back to sleep. In the last few days I’ve started being able to go back to sleep but it’s still not a deep sleep. In saying that, it is a huge improvement on the nights where I would lay there for 4 hours bored out of my brain!
I’m still taking HPT’s every three or four days when I start getting nervous something is wrong. I know that technically they don’t tell me anything I don’t know (yup, still pregnant!) but they put my mind at ease.
I think we are telling my parents this weekend (hopefully) and I’m not sure when we will tell my two sisters. I want to tell them at the same time but one is in London and the others in New Zealand with me so……hmm! I guess maybe we’ll skype or something so I can tell them together….
Gosh, it has been a very long time since I posted. In that time I have
-Got married (yep we’re legit!)
-Started a new job. The one I started way back when was horrible. I started my new job as a regional administrator in June and I LOVE it!
-We have started trying for a baby which is why I am here. We decided we wouldn’t tell anyone (although my Dad knows). It’s a really exciting time for us but really scary too and it’s nice to have somewhere to vent/keep record/be excited.
Five years ago I thought I was ready for a child. I knew I would love it and be a good Mother but I don’t think I was aware of the emotional journey and sacrifices that parents make. In the last few years I have come to understand the huge life-changing impact of children. I’m not pregnant (yet!) so I am clearly no expert and maybe these thoughts will change as soon as I am but for now this is what I believe
-Childbirth is not all horrendous, hospital rooms and pain. While it may be a bit of both of these it is also an incredibly emotional experience and women actually have a choice as to how they birth!
-People have very strong opinions on what and how you should be doing things. But only you know what is the right thing for your family. Sometimes it is best to keep your decisions private to save yourself some grief.
-The journey to pregnancy can be terrifying, heartbreaking and scary but it can also be the most incredible, beautiful thing.
-Having a child does not mean your friends never want to see you, never leaving the house and being broke (well, not always!).
More than anything right now I am excited about giving birth (weird, I know). I am excited about the experience and the journey of pregnancy. I can’t wait to hold my fiances hand tightly and watch his face when we have the first scan, attend antenatal classes or actually talk about pregnancy with women and not feel odd for knowing so much when I’m not pregnant. I cannot wait to be pregnant, to have my child in my arms, to watch my fiance become a father and fall in love all over again.
I always thought I was ready for this, but now I know it.
I feel increasingly nervous that we are about to start trying. I’ve wanted this all my life and now it is only a couple of short months away from the journey beginning I am scared. Really scared….and maybe a little bit crazy too?
I got a better one! It pays more, is in the area we’re hoping to move in to and it’s flexible which means when we finally have kids I might go back to work part-time when my other half can look after the baby.
On the same day we also found out that FH had been shortlisted for the job he applied for way back when! We’d almost given up hope. We’re all fingers and toes crossed in our house!
In other (not-related news) I had a dream we were pregnant. I did the pregnancy test in a tent (why? because dreams are weird!) but when I told FH and a friend we couldn’t figure out if we really were because the instructions that came with the test only told us how to tie shoelaces and things like that. Weird.
